Small penises have feelings too.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
