Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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