I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
