all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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