i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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