i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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