My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
