Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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