He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
