ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I am naked and annoyed.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
