he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
