Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
