All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
