i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
In other news, I just burned my penis
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I believe in your delicious
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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