i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
