Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
