yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
