We're facebook friends in real life
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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