I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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