i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
