If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
