I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
