bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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