That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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