I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
