so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
