sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
