my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
do herpes really smell.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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