So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
