OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
