Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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