My liver just broke up with me...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
