people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize