I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize