Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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