So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
