1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize