Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
