Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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