You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
