yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
