then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
