why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
