I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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