Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
