I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
love makes seman taste better
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
