sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
