I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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