Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
