Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
