hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
