I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
