why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
