is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I stole a fireplace last night.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
