I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
