never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
