is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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