Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize