She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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